Obvious Advice: Dating Dos and Don'ts

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm certainly not an expert when it comes to dating and you shouldn't listen to anything that I say but...

• Don't complain about being single. Don't talk about how awesome being single is either. Everyone already knows and they don't care.
• Do what feels right when it comes to sex. Almost every dating advice article and site says no sex on the first date or no sex before monogamy. Seriously? Why? I'll fully admit I've hooked up on a first date (sorry Mom!) and in my case I ended up marrying the guy. You should do whatever you want and whatever feels right.
• Don't talk about how not domestic you are. Status updates about not being able to cook or take care of yourself aren't as adorable as you think they are. 
• Do make those wedding (and baby!) Pinterest boards private until you're seeing someone and you're engaged! Obviously don't bring up marriage all the time.
• Don't lie to people you're seeing. Be open and honest if you're seeing other people. No need to play games or try to hide things.

Lastly, do make your own dos and don'ts, but don't be afraid to throw your rules out the window. Break your rules, but not your standards.

New Year's Resolutions: Staying Motivated

Yikes, is it really almost February?! The first month of 2013 is coming to an end and many New Year's Resolutions are probably already broken. Why is that burst of motivation and determination for new beginnings so fleeting? It's so easy to say you're going to workout more, save more money, go out less, travel more. What is it that keeps us from actually doing it? Have you ever stuck to any of your resolutions? 

Last year I decided to tackle each "resolution" at different points throughout the year instead of all at once. I got my health and fitness on track early on in the year and I'm happy to say I've stuck to it and even stepped it up more this year. This year I'm giving up (ok, cutting back) soda and I've only had 1 Diet Coke this month. I had a few setbacks throughout 2012, but I definitely got a great start and I'm still heading in the right direction with all my goals. Still working on my organization and cooking skills!

Last year I learned staying motivated is the hardest part, the actual action is what's easy. You just have to get over that first hurdle. I wake up, and tell myself I have to do it and know that I'll feel better after. My mantra has been, "Suck it up Princess! Time to GSD!" There is no other option. No saying "I'll do it later" and absolutely no excuses. Just do it. 

Turn your resolution into a game, make it fun and give yourself a reward. Do whatever it takes to get it done. If you've tried something a million times, figure out why you stopped and try coming at it in a different way. Maybe it's the way you're thinking about the action, and not the actual action itself.

Ultimately it's all about the journey and growing and changing over time. Don't focus on the end result and take each day at time. Start making those small decisions that add up to better life choices.

How do you stay motivated?

The Greatest Day: What I Learned From My Wedding

I never thought about what my dream wedding would be. To be honest, I actually thought I wouldn't get married and if I did I wanted to elope. I thought weddings were pretty but never really thought I had to have one. There were so many other things I wanted to spend my time, money and effort on and I didn't want to make a big fuss just for a piece of paper. That is, until I met Antony. We got married at City Hall in May but wanted to keep our original wedding plans and went ahead with our celebration in October.   

I've attended and been in dozens of weddings all with varying locations, guest counts, budgets, and themes. I felt like I had seen it all. While planning I thought about all these weddings. What did I like? What did I not like? What would I have changed? How could I make this my own? Do I have to spend a lot of money to have a great wedding? Do I need to have over 200 people to have a great party? Will I become a bridezilla? Does everyone get stressed out? Do I need a wedding planner? How do we start our lives together? How do we make it special and unique?

Planning definitely had its ups and downs, but I'm so grateful to have gone through such an amazing experience. It was truly one of the greatest days and I learned so much about myself that I will keep with me throughout my life and marriage. 

1) Stay true to yourself
Yes, everyone says it's your day but that doesn't mean you're allowed to be a crazy basketcase bossy bridezilla. It means have the wedding you want. If you want something traditional or as off the wall as possible, go for it! It's a chance to celebrate the two of you. We had a lot of our ideas criticized by friends, like wanting bright red and blue as our colors or hunting a pig for everyone to eat but we did what we wanted. I wanted a mermaid in the swimming pool and didn't want a traditional cake. I didn't want a veil but wanted my bridesmaids to all wear matching dresses and we wanted to write our own vows. They can be small ideas or the overall theme, but stay true to what you want. Add in those special touches you love that make the two of you unique. Remember how special the two of you are. 


2) Think outside the box
Whether you want to rent a house for the weekend, make your own floral arrangements, or tap into your friends' talents, with enough time and patience you can have an amazing wedding. We really wanted to get married at a winery but most were just out of our budget and all had a lot of restrictions. We looked around more and found a private estate with a hobby winery that we rented for the whole weekend with very very few restrictions. We didn't hire a traditional wedding caterer, photographer, bartender, florist, DJ or baker because anything with "wedding" in the title because that word makes everything twice as expensive. And just because that little word isn't in the title doesn't mean it's not as good. A co-worker did my hair, one of my bridesmaids made my hairpiece, a good friend was our DJ and two other friends were our photographers. You'll be surprised how many friends and family want to help, you just have to ask. Everyone has a special talent.


3) Compromise & remember what is important
If your budget won't let you have 300 guests and an ice swan, make a list of what is important to you. Who are your closest friends and family? When you close your eyes, what do you see? Who and what do you need? We didn't have to compromise too much with our budget but Antony really wanted to hunt a pig and I really wanted a mermaid so we found ways to make it work. We didn't do escort cards (I'm convinced seating charts are the biggest cause of wedding stress) and just rented basic ivory linens and plates. We kept our guestlist small (around 100) by only inviting family and close friends. Focus on what is important and let everything else fall into place.

4) Be flexible and enjoy surprises
No matter how much you prepare, not everything will go according to plan. One of our makeup artists fell through, we booked vans but didn't work out who would be driving, and we found a ceremony musician the day before. The 24 hours leading up to the wedding were the most stressful because all our family and friends were in town and we were still working out last minute details. Antony also surprised me with a unicorn and my mother-in-law booked a bag piper! Everything will work out if you plan, plan, plan more and then know you won't follow your plan exactly. Enjoy life's little surprises.

Photos by Nichole Alright Photography, Jonathan Nafarrete, Edward Bernal, and Mike Prasad

Fashion Startup: Borrowed Closet

This summer I attended weddings, bridal showers, baby showers and a bunch of other events and I found myself wearing the same dress to several of them. No one wants to be the girl in the same dress all the time and not too many girls can shell out for a new dress for every event or party. Enter Borrowed Closet, a new fashion rental service that launched last week.

Borrowed Closet is a monthly subscription service that gives you access to your dream closet, of course making you feel just like Cher Horowitz. For $29.95 a month members get 100 credits to rent designer quality clothing, accessories and handbags. As soon as you're done with your rentals, just ship them back and choose new items.

I honestly couldn't begin to tell you how many items I've purchased and worn just a couple times and then they're donated, sold online, or just continue sit in my closet. Now I feel like I have an endless closet at my fingertips. I've just made my first rental for a dress and clutch that I'll wear to my bridal shower later this month. Squee! I can't wait!

Request an invite here.